Goodnight Emma
by Chelseadaggz
Summary: VERY ANGSTY, fluffy, ANGSTY I can't say why it's so angsty because it will ruin the surprise... This is inspired by John Legend's All of Me, it takes us through the relationship of Regina and Emma through Emma's flashbacks, fluffy up until the end where the angst kicks in...I'm rubbish at summaries, please be kind Major Character Death
1. Chapter 1

…**this may hit you right in the feels, I had a lump in my throat as I wrote it…I apologize in advance, you know I'm addicted to angst…the whole thing is inspired by the song All of Me by John Legend **

**Please be kind!**

* * *

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out _

_Got my head spinning, no kidding,_

_I can't pin you down_

The house was cold as she stepped inside the foyer, she couldn't smell the usual dinner that would be cooking upon entering the house, she couldn't even smell Regina…gone was the scent of vanilla and spice that she adored so much, it filled her up, she drank it in like the finest of wines.

The attraction between the pair had been there from the beginning only it hadn't been interpreted as what it actually was; instead they had sparred back and forth whilst simultaneously attempting to understand the inexplicable pull towards one another. A whole year of fighting had been wasted, when Regina had offered up herself as a sacrifice for the lives of those around her, Emma had finally understood, she finally identified what she had been feeling for what it was, love.

Regina's revelation came at a different time however, the brunette had told Emma of her realization one night before they had fallen asleep, wrapped in each other's arms she played with the blonde curls splayed out across her chest as she spoke softly into the air before her.

"Do you remember the morning on the ship after the mermaids had appeared?" her fingers stroked through silk soft hair, her thoughts focused on the events in her mind's eye. Emma nodded against Regina's chest, she recalled the ache of her muscles from overuse, they were due to arrive on the island just before nightfall and so they had commenced with the planning of their rescue strategy, the blonde's brow furrowed as she remembered something, "you weren't there though."

The blonde's head bounced lightly on her chest as she chuckled softly, Regina smiled at Emma's confusion, and her grin grew as the woman beneath her tensed slightly as her mind worked through what Regina was getting at.

A small groan escaped from her lips as she brought a hand up to cover her eyes, "what did you hear?" it came out as a defeated sigh, her head shook more as the brunette's laugh grew beneath her.

"Enough."

* * *

"_Emma…" the blonde looked up from the makeshift map Rumplestiltskin had conjured in order to decide where to dock and which direction to start in. No one had any idea of what it was they were going to do but a little planning was better than none at all. Her mother's eyes were wary as they rested on her. "May we have a word with you?" _

_She found the ever present Charming to be stood with his hand on Snow's shoulder, some form of support she supposed but support for what? Nodding slowly she followed them to an area of the ship that appeared to be void of an activity, "what's up?" _

_Snow shifted uncomfortably as she thought of the best way in which to address the situation at hand, she felt it best just to be straightforward, it always seemed to be the most effective strategy with her hot-headed daughter. "In the mines…" _

_Emma's stomach dropped, she had given much thought to what had transpired between her and her son's adoptive mother. In all that happened afterwards she hadn't had the chance to ask Regina what her thoughts to the situation were. Slowly her mother's voice faded back into her thoughts…_

"…_and I know you explained that your magic reacts strongly to Regina's because yours is pure whereas hers is dark but…I can't help thinking that there's another reason." Her mother had hit the nail on the head, Emma had spent countless hours going over the reason her magic had reacted in such a way to her alleged enemies. It hadn't when she had been magically sparring with the Dark One in preparation for what was ahead and surely he had the darkest of magic? _

"_I…I don't know either." _

_Snow's heart felt like lead in her chest as she regarded her daughter, she feared she knew the cause of the women's connection and although it did not sit well with her in the slightest, she couldn't deny what she saw, what they all saw. With a quick look for reassurance from Charming she placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder. _

_Emma's eyes closed at the contact, for so long she had needed this kind of comfort, she had craved this kind of attention from a mother who loved her and now she finally had it…but it wasn't enough. Her heart craved the love of another and they all knew it. _

"_Sweetheart…you need to tell her." Emma's watery green eyes met those of her mother's. _

_With a shaky inhalation of air she spoke softly, "I can't…we need to be focused on Henry right now, if we come out of this then I will…I'll tell Regina I love her but until then we need to be on our A game okay?" _

_Snow frowned deeply but nodded in agreement, Emma was right, they needed to focus on whatever lay ahead of them…_

* * *

"I felt like my heart had stopped the night before when you foolishly threw yourself into the water but didn't understand why…"

Emma laughed softly as she recalled her leap of faith; she was now resting with her chin on the hands that lay on Regina's chest. A tanned hand was stroking through her hair as she watched the tenderness filling the brunette's face.

"When I heard you say that…that you loved me, well it hit me. I loved you too."

* * *

_What's going on in that beautiful mind?_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride _

_And I'm so dizzy; don't know what hit me, _

_But I'll be alright_

Her footsteps echoed from the night darkened walls, what time was it? She felt exhausted, completely disconnected from everything except the thought of returning home to Regina. The pale walls lacked the feeling of warmth they usually provided her, the soothing feeling she normally experienced when entering the place she had long ago come to consider as her home was lacking. Something was off.

She moved into the living room to find it empty, a lone glass was left on the coffee table. The crimson lipstick on the top indicated that it had belonged to Regina, wine no doubt. It always managed to calm her nerves after a trying day. The throw was placed haphazardly over the back of the couch.

* * *

"_Ow!" she exclaimed as her back hit the floor, only saved from having the wind completely knocked from her by the folded, plush material on the ground beneath her. It must have fallen in the initial struggle. _

_Regina sat straddling the squirming blonde with the solution to their problems raised in her right hand whilst her left aided her in pinning Emma to the ground. "Oh stop being such a baby; I swear Henry was never this bad!" _

"_I don't even need it!" Emma tried in vain to avoid the inevitable; it was practically the same routine that had ensued ever since their day spent at the beach as a family, "I swear, it looks worse than it is!" _

"_Be that as it may Miss Swan," yep, Regina was becoming annoyed now, she only reverted back to the formality of Emma's name when the blonde was in trouble, "I will not have the guilt on my shoulders when you need to have your eye removed." _

_The stare out between the two felt as though it had lasted a lifetime before Emma finally let out a huff of resignation, the gleam of victory in Regina's eyes wasn't missed before her eye glossed over from the cleaning solution. _

"_There," Regina smirked as she moved to climb from the blonde's body, "that wasn't so bad now was it?" _

_Emma scowled at the berating nature of the brunette's voice but made sure to secure the thighs moving from her body with a firm hand, "haven't you forgotten something?" Regina's confusion lasted only moments as she looked upon the frown on the blonde's face, laughing softly she placed the bottle of solution on the coffee table beside them and proceeded to lower herself down so that she was nose to nose with Emma, her hands held her weight on either side of the blonde head. _

"_I can't possibly think what you mean Miss Swan," Emma grinned at the other use of her formal title; the lowering of Regina's already husky voice instantly had her pulse racing. _

_The mayor leaned into the soft hand that came to brush back dark hair behind her ears before coming to rest upon her cheek, "thank you". _

_With her eyes closed she sighed in contentment, "They're only eye drops dear, no need for thanks." _

"_No," the brunette's eyes opened in question as she regarded the look of tenderness on her lovers face as she gazed up at her, "thank you for being you." _

_She closed the distance between them to give the brunette a chaste kiss, smiling as she felt the woman move forward to keep the contact, she grasped her head between lean hands in order to gain her full attention, "thank you for all 5 foot 5 inches of the most stubborn, argumentative, caring, loving, tender, crazy," she laughed at Regina's mock outrage before watching doe brown eyes soften again, closing and inhaling the blonde's scent, "beautiful, incredible most phenomenal woman I have ever known." _

_She let her lone tear fall to seep into Emma's pale skin as she slowly lowered her mouth to her lover's once more; their lips were unmoving as they just revelled in the feel of one another. The sheer adoration and passion that flowed between the two was almost over-whelming. Emma's heart soared as she felt rather than heard the 'I love you' whispered against her lips before all was lost to the night and their love for one another. _

_How many times do I have to tell you? _

_Even when you're crying you're beautiful too _

_The world is beating you down, _

_I'm around through every mood_

* * *

The kitchen was next, flour coated the surface of the worktop whilst silver pans were piled into the sink, discarded and forgotten. Regina was always so proud of her home, its cleanliness and order was something she revelled in so…why was the place in such a state?

She could still feel the woman here, it was as if she had literally just walked from the room but the hardened food substance cemented onto the cooking utensils told a different story.

* * *

_She drew lazy patterns through the flour spilled onto the granite surface; Regina is busy to her right mixing ingredients within a bowl. "Remind me again why I can't help?" _

_Regina huffed irritably having explained to the blonde numerous times, "I think I've made my desire to keep our son living to see another birthday very clear dear." _

"_Oh come on," Emma whined much like a child, the only thing missing from the beginnings of her temper tantrum was the foot stomp, Regina grinned internally at the image but jumped when warm hands snaked around her small waist, "teach me…" _

_The request was practically drawled out, the blonde knew that seduction was her only possible way of becoming involved; she knew she wasn't the best cook but she couldn't help but want to help in the making of their son's birthday treats. _

_The cake had been made by Snow, much to Regina's annoyance; the woman hadn't stopped badgering until the pair had to relent in order to save their ear drums and sanity. The brunette wasn't one to be outdone however and so had agreed that Snow could make the cake as long as Regina could create some surprises of her own._

"_Tell you what," Emma scowled as she heard the patronisation within the brunette's tone, she was babying her again, "I'll make the mixture and you can roll out the dough, sound fair enough?" _

_As much as the blonde wanted to tell Regina to forget it and storm out…she found she couldn't. The gleam of mischief in her lover's eye was enough to change her mind as the bowl was pushed towards her. Reaching in she pulled out the mixture slowly. _

"_Ah ah ah!" Regina scolded, Emma simply looked at her in confusion, "dear, I don't think either of us want to spend countless hours attempting to scrape hard dough from my very expensive counter top do we?" the blonde shook her head like a petulant child being told off, the pout brought a giggle from the mayor who had proceeded to sprinkle a good handful of flour onto the table, "go ahead." _

"_I thought baking was supposed to be fun…" Regina heard the blonde's muttering and leaned in closer to the woman's ear, she revelled in the shiver that ran through her at the hot breath on her ear._

"_Like most things dear, it's most fun when you know how…" Emma definitely didn't miss the suggestive tone in which Regina spoke, she grinned as she looked over to where the brunette was mixing together a fresh batch of dough. Her attention was on the task at hand causing her to jump when a warm body pressed up against her as slender hands stroked down her arms until fingers interlaced with her within the doughy mixture. _

"_Teach me…" the blonde breathed again only this time into Regina's ear, her shiver was well-received as she felt Emma nudge aside her dark hair with her nose. She couldn't help the soft moan that escaped from her lips as her lover began kissing the soft skin behind her ear, it tickled but pleasantly so, she smiled as she felt a warm tongue dart out to lick the skin. _

_As much as she was enjoying the blonde's ministrations, she simply couldn't focus on what she was doing, "I think I already know how skilled your tongue is my dear," she felt the grin against the skin of her neck as she leaned her head back even further in invitation. "It is your hands I need…" _

"_And…where do you need them Madam Mayor?" Emma knew it drove the woman crazy when she addressed her by her formal title, Regina loved asserting power and the name was a reminder of the power she actually had. Slowly she drew her fingers from the bowl and trailed them up slim arms. _

_Regina wasn't one for mess in any way shape or form but she had never been able to deny Emma what she wanted…and there was no way she was going to stop this. She could feel the mixture coating her skin as hands moved higher onto her shoulders before dropping down to her slim waist. _

"_You know where I need them Emma…" she breathed and gasped as the blonde's hands moved up to massage her breasts gently whilst still kissing down her neck. _

_Regina's hands had completely stilled as she allowed herself to become lost in the moment, "I have a feeling…" Emma said between soft kisses to the tanned skin,"…that Snow's cake is going to do our son just fine…" _

_The brunette chuckled as she turned in Emma's arms so that she was facing her love with a grin, "Oh…" her hands moved up tight jean clad thighs to cup the blonde's heated center, satisfied when she heard a soft moan from the lips before her "I think it will dear."_

* * *

She laughed softly as she recalled the explanation of why Regina hadn't given Snow the rest of the baked goods for Henry's party, after far too many sexual innuendos involving stickiness and heat Regina had decided that Snow had paled enough for her liking.

* * *

_You're my downfall, you're my muse  
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues  
I can't stop singing, its ringing, I my head for you_

_My heads under water  
But I'm breathing fine  
you're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

The back garden was lit beautifully by the same fairy lights that Emma had instilled for their wedding, it had been the happiest night of Emma's life and to be dancing with Regina under the 'stars' had been breath taking.

"_Cause all of me  
loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
all your perfect imperfections  
give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
you're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning"_

_Her hand tightened around Regina's as she listened to the words her wife was singing into her ear, many were seated either chatting with other wedding guests or watching the two moving as one on the temporary dance floor that had been installed in the back garden of the mansion for this occasion. _

_The white wooden altar they had been married in front of still remained in front of Regina's apple tree, she felt as though it could be some sort of tribute to her fallen father who had given her the tree to tend to as a child, he may not have been there in person but he was there in spirit. _

_Ruby, Snow and Belle had created the white lace roses that adorned the piece; they had been woven at random throughout the various posts as pink cherry blossom was wrapped around the structure. Tea lights in lilacs had been hung from the low branches of the tree and were lit by each party guest who would whisper their good will and hopes for the newly married couple, it had been a tradition in the Enchanted Forest that had been highlighted by Snow and instantly loved by Emma. _

_White clothed tables and chairs were dotted around the garden and had been used by all when their food had been brought out. Granny and Regina had spent months working out a suitable menu and it certainly hadn't disappointed, each dish had been catered to each individual. Emma hadn't bothered to contain her laughter when a main of a gourmet burger with a side of sweet potato fries had been placed in front of her, Regina opting for a seared duck breast with soy, honey and ginger. They truly had outdone themselves. _

_Neither could wipe the smiles from their faces as they continued to spin slowly to their song, both still trying hard to believe that this was actually happening but feeling as though they were going to wake up at any minute. _

_Pulling back from their embrace enough to look at Regina, she couldn't help the tears from forming in her eyes. She truly was breath taking and she was all Emma's. Their foreheads came together as they shared the same breaths. _

"_I love you so much Regina…"_

_"And I love you Emma"_

* * *

It was time to move upstairs although no sounds could be heard, she stopped to look at the various photographs that still adorned the hallway yet she had almost forgotten about due to her familiarity with them.

Many were candid shots of Regina and Emma that Henry had taken with the camera his mother's had gotten him for Christmas, he had also been gifted with a scrapbook that Regina had taken the time to adorn with the words 'Once Upon a Time…'. Their son had realized immediately that this was his chance to rewrite his own book, fill it with truths and their future and he had. These were the shots that wouldn't fit into the story he was telling and so had been erected in their home in order to tell their own story.

Making it onto the landing, she found Henry's door to be open yet he was not inside. The bed was made meaning that he had not slept in it the day before either, she had lived in the same house as her son for long enough to know that he could never make his bed and neither she nor Regina would dare to do it for him, they were too afraid of what could be found in their teenage boy's room, some things needed to remain unseen.

The lights were off in this part of the house also, the darkness that she was accustomed to through the cravings of a midnight snacker was not the same, it was not the comfort of home…it made her feel uneasy for reasons she couldn't fathom and she didn't like it one bit.

The carpet beneath her feet muffled her steps as she walked towards the door to their bedroom, it was slightly ajar meaning she could see that no light graced that place either…but she was here…she could feel her…

"Regina…" it was a mere whisper, her breath catching in her throat as she pushed lightly on the wooden door. It scraped along the thick carpet yet the form you found curled up on the bed didn't move. Emma winced as she stepped fully into the room, it was thick with warmth and despair, and she could practically taste the sadness within it and found herself walking slowly over to the bed.

Matted brown hair was fanned out over the silk pillows they both shared though the brunette seemed to be laying further to Emma's side, her nose buried in the cover there. She appeared to be sleeping though there was no comfort there, no relief in unconsciousness. The lines on her face were evident even in the darkness, she was sans make up and her face was spotted with vicious looking red marks, tear tracks glinting in the slither of moonlight creeping in from the curtains not pulled all the way shut.

The sheet only came to cover her legs and stopped at her hips, Emma gasped as she noticed the protruding bones sticking out from underneath the pyjama top that had risen in sleep. Regina looked painfully thin and only then did she see the way in which her collarbones stood out from her chest, when had this happened? How had she not seen this before?

"You're here?" she had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the woman on the bed stir…brown eyes were still closed and she hadn't moved an inch, was she sleep talking? Emma knew this to be a habit of Regina's, something she had discovered very early on in their relationship and had identified it as an effect of stress or sadness within her wife's life. "Emma?"

"Yes baby, I'm here" she lowered herself onto the bed in order to place a comforting hand on Regina's sheet covered thigh.

The woman still didn't move but continued to talk, her brow furrowing even in sleep. "What took you so long?"

"I had to…" what did she have to do? What had she been doing before she came into the house? Emma's mind was muddled as she desperately tried to recall anything before coming home but couldn't…

"Why did you leave me?" the brunette's voice was laden with sadness now as she spoke over Emma's thoughts, "why did you have to go?"

"Regina I didn't le-"

"I miss you so much, I…I can't breathe without you here…" they were whimpers now as opposed to statements and the blonde's heart pounded with confusion and sympathy for the woman beneath her…what was going on?

Suddenly the brunette shifted slightly, her hand opening and closing giving Emma a view of what she was holding on to so tightly…her wedding ring.

Emma's left hand came up slowly; it was trembling as she found it to be bare of the one thing she never removed from her body, ever. "Regina wha…what's going on?"

"Please…please" the pleas were heavy with emotion as fresh tears ran down from closed eyes, "please just come back to me Emma…come back"

* * *

_Her head was pounding as her eyes opened slowly, the sunlight blinding. She was lying on something hard, something wet and she could hear a sound though it sounded muffled as if she were under water. _

"_Emma…" the sound was becoming clearer now and louder as her brow furrowed, all she could see was sky, she was outside… "Emma!" _

"_Re-Regina?" her voice was small and hoarse as she coughed, liquid flew from her mouth as she spluttered…was that blood? _

"_Oh god…" she was next to her now, her face in Emma's line of sight as she did something…but Emma didn't know what…were those hands on her face? Why couldn't she feel them? Why couldn't she feel Regina? "Oh god, Emma can you hear me?" _

"_I…ye…yeah, what ha-happened?" she could hear the fear in her own voice as she tried to move but couldn't seem to get her body to respond. _

_Regina was crying now, she was looking around frantically for any signs of the driver or any bypassers that could help. The street was deserted. _

"_Regina?" her head was spinning now as she tried to anchor herself to where she was, the brunette's head snapped back to hers once more, she was practically hysterical as she spoke. _

"_Emma, you…you need to stay awake okay? I'm gonna get you help, I will…I…Emma!" her eyes snapped open at the shout of her name, she hadn't even felt them closing, what was happening? _

"_Please, sir! Please help us, call an ambulance!" the cry was heart wrenching as she watched her wife screaming at someone out of her line of sight…an ambulance?_

* * *

_**She hadn't been looking…she had been laughing at something Regina had shouted to her…she had been moving fast in order to return home quicker and into the arms she loved…she had just walked straight out into the road…she hadn't heard the car breaks screeching across the gravel…she hadn't felt the vehicle sending her into the air…she had only seen the look on Regina's face as she came running from the house, the horror and the fear at what had just happened…then she felt nothing, she heard nothing…she saw nothing.**_

* * *

"_I'm sorry…" she breathed out as she remembered, "I love you Regina…"_

* * *

"I'm sorry baby," she was sitting at the opposite side of the bed, her fingers trailing lightly over her sleeping wife's features, although Emma couldn't feel her, she could imagine her. She could imagine the softness of the skin she had often peppered kisses across, she could imagine the heat coming from her breath taking features…she could imagine the smile she had so often wanted to stop the world for. "I didn't mean to leave you…I didn't want to but I had to…"

She could see the way her wife's features were tightening in grief, her words were heard and so she continued on. "I'm sorry we don't get to grow old together, I wanted to watch you grow old gracefully whilst I tagged along looking like a sack of shit as per" she laughed at her own joke, the brunette had often scolded her for putting herself down but knew the blonde didn't really believe it, Regina had told her often enough how beautiful she was and that was enough for Emma.

"I'm sorry I don't get to watch our son grow up or help you scare away potential girlfriends of his in the future…I'm sorry that you're having to go through all of this alone but I'm not sorry that I loved you…I'm not sorry that we took the chance and gave this a go because you have made the last years of my life so incredibly fulfilling, I just wish I could do the same for you" her own tears were mirroring those coming down from Regina's eyes now.

"I think I can go now…I just had to tell you that I love you one last time, I will always be watching over you and I will wait for as long as it takes until we find each other again but I want you to promise that it will be a long wait for me because our son needs you…he needs you to keep him on the straight and narrow, he needs you to carry on being the loving mother you have been for all of his life and I need you to help him remember…please don't forget me Regina…" her throat constricted now as she neared the end of her speech. "I will love you from now until the end of time…" she rose slowly from her perch and took one last look around the place she had called home for the last few years of her life, the place she had searched for since her birth and had the privilege of finding before it was too late.

Then she looked to the woman who had given it all, the woman she had come to love more than life itself and the woman she would wait an eternity for…"goodnight Regina"

"Goodnight Emma"

* * *

**does anyone want to kill me? I'm sorry, I couldn't write in the bit about Emma's death as a warning because I didn't want to ruin it for you! The ending is inspired by the ending of the Sixth Sense...I hope you liked it, please leave a quick review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

This is just a quick one for the Guest reviewer who said I have deleted reviews and am therefore immature?

I'm guessing the review in question was possibly bad? If so I can tell you I definitely have not deleted it, I have never deleted any reviews and actually don't know how. It might have been a problem with the site or something but I can promise I didn't delete anything. Take a look at the amount of hate my story The Stars That Fade has received, in some reviews I'm called a bitch and an idiot, it's hurtful but it's still there for all to see because you're right, deleting reviews is immature and something I don't do.

You're very welcome to repost the review here if you wish? I am sorry you thought that but it is 7am here in England and unless I've somehow managed to log on to in my sleep, I don't know what has happened.

Have a nice day and thank you to everyone for reviewing :)


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